Ok not the wizard….

I’m off the see the psychiatrist.

And of course with my luck I am dragging along an eight year old with a migraine.

At the moment my level of satisfaction with this particular doctor is pretty low. After repeated suggestions on my part that my mood is strongly affected by my period, she continues to schedule me to see her exactly eight weeks later.  So every other month she is seeing me at my best time of the month.

Also because I get nervous about discussing my feelings, I have a habit of taking a sedative in the morning. So while I’m well past the max effect when she sees me I still appear calmer than I actually am.

We have also have always started by discussing the events of my life. So that by the time we are done that there is no time to review my medication so we haven’t made changes that I was told would happen.

Today I pull back the curtain

Today I have not taken any sedative so I am not feeling particularly calm.

This will give her better insight into how well I actually am.

Also when my doctor gave me the news that instead of just Trigeminal Neuralgia I seem to have Fibromyalgia as well he sent her a note that I may not be doing that well.

And while as long as I stay on top of taking my medication we have managed to get to an overall pain level of about 2,  we have not been able to get it lower than that and I also still have spikes of pain that reach about a level 8.

This weekend we missed softball practice because I literally was in so much pain I could not drive there. How is that acceptable?

So today I plan to…..

Start by asking about my medication.

Insist on appointments that are seven weeks apart so that she sees at different points in my cycle.

And bringing my daily wellness log so that I do not gloss over how frustrated I actually am with my state of being.

Wish me luck,

XOXO Alice